STOP. Have you read our FAQ? If you haven't read it, I'll wait. Go read it now.
Okay. Having read the FAQ, you need to realize that if you now subsequently submit your shitty-assed blog to our site, with its ugly black letters on top of a pea-green background, we are going to rip you a new hole to shit through. I'm not joking here. You will get reamed. It's a promise. After the reaming, you will be redirected to the FAQ. You know, the one you should have read BEFORE submitting.
At present, it is taking up to 3 months...yes, you heard me correctly...3 FUCKING MONTHS...for us to get through the reviews in our little queue. So, we will get to your review when we get to it. We review 3-4 blogs per week, on a first-come, first-served basis, and that's as fast as we're willing to go.
By submitting your blog here, you are giving us your permission to love, hate, loathe, despise, cherish, or feel ambivalent towards your blog. Blogs are personal, and thus, we also may not much like YOU. By submitting your blog here, you are opening yourself up for any and all criticism we may decide to dish out. Be aware of this, and don't act like a whiny pansy-assed bitch.
Beyond that, if you have autoplay music...if you speak constantly in text...if you make us look at advertising...we will punch you in the box/testes. In fact, the odds are good that you will be spanked, anyway. Please be aware of this before you submit, put on your big girl panties and be prepared to take it like a big person. Because...seriously? We hate crybabies, and we mock them unmercifully.
That is all. You've been warned.
This is a legal disclaimer. Y'all are some litigious assholes, so it's one of those necessary evils. Please read it thoroughly before you decide to sick an attorney on us, and be forewarned that one of us is an attorney so your petty bullshit and small time claims aren't going to fly because we know full well you won't get anything other than a laugh from any self-respecting attorney to whom you bring the issue of "they defamed me and my blog."
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